


The Foxhole Tango

by andwewminward, lynxthorn, shortbreadd



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Cell Block Tango, Gen, Nothing more nothing less, Songfic, but it's the foxes, chicago!au???, it's literally Cell Block Tango, some things had to have been shifted around to make sense of this but aight, this sprung up as a fever dream on discord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 11:16:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18637036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andwewminward/pseuds/andwewminward, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lynxthorn/pseuds/lynxthorn, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shortbreadd/pseuds/shortbreadd
Summary: Pop!Six!Bish!Uh-uh!Libero!Ravens!





	The Foxhole Tango

[Wymack]

And now, the six lousy good-for-nothing criminals of the Foxhole County Jail, in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"...

Ugh, I don't get paid enough for this crap...

 

[Andrew]

Pop!

 

[Kevin]

Six!

 

[Allison]

Bish!

 

[Nicky]

Uh-uh!

 

[Aaron]

Libero!

 

[Neil]

Ravens!

 

[Foxes, in sequence]

Pop! Six! Bish! Uh-uh! Libero! Ravens!

Pop! Six! Bish! Uh-uh! Libero! Ravens!

 

[Foxes, in unison]

They had it coming! They had it coming!  
They only had themselves to blame!  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it,  
I betcha you would have done the same!

 

[Foxes, in sequence]

Pop! Six! Bish! Uh-uh! Libero! Ravens!

 

[Andrew, spoken]

You know how people have these nasty habits that just grind your gears? Like... Tilda!

Tilda liked to slap my brother Aaron's face - no, not slap. Pop!

So, I come home this one day and I'm really irritated and looking for a little understanding, and there's Tilda.

Standing in the room, screaming her head off, and slapping - no, not slapping, _POPPING_ my brother's face.

So, I said to her, I said, "You touch him one more time…"

And she did.

So I jacked the brakes on the family car and I revved the engine as a warning…

Right off the bridge!

 

[Andrew and the Foxes]

She had it coming! She had it coming!  
She only had herself to blame!  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have heard it!  
I betcha you would have done the same!

 

[Kevin, spoken]

I've lived with Riko Moriyama all my life, and he told me that we'd always be One and Two; the biggest stars of exy.

So, I trained with him, lived with him, spent all my waking time with him.

Then I found out he wanted to punish me for being a better player!

I tried to get away, but he caught me leaving, and broke my right hand in SIX places!

I had to quit exy, so one night, I told him that we had to talk...

We got somewhere private, I pulled out an exy racquet, and, well...

Turns out, some cops won't let you kill your abuser...

 

[Kevin and the Foxes]

He had it coming! He had it coming!  
He plucked a flower in its prime!  
And then he used it, and he abused it!  
It was assault, yes, but not a crime!

 

[Allison]

Now, I'm standing in the walk-in closet, trying out some clothes like an Instagram hoe, minding my own business...

And in storms my boyfriend Seth in a jealous rage!

"You been screwing the church girl, bish!" he says.

He was high as a kite, and he kept on screaming, "You been screwing the church girl, bish!"

Then he ran into my stiletto.

He ran into my stiletto. Ten! Times!

 

[Allison]

If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it,  
I betcha you would have done the same!

 

[Nicky, spoken]

Was mache ich hier?

Sie sagen, ich habe den Kopf meines Mannes mit einem Exy-Stock gebrochen.

Aber das stimmt nicht!

Ich weiß nicht, warum Uncle Sam sagt ich es getan hätte!

Ich habe versucht es der Polizei zu erklären, aber sie haben mich nicht verstanden!

 

[Allison]

But did you do it?

 

[Nicky]

Uh-uh! Not guilty!

 

[Aaron, spoken]

My brother Andrew and I had this troubled history, and his adoptive brother, Drake, liked to invite me to go out with them every once in a while.

Every single time, he'd send me out to buy us something to snack on, and told me to count up to twenty minutes.

One, two, three, four, five, yes, well, you get the point, I was young and gullible.

Well, this one night we met up at the hotel Libero and he sent me out… to get us some beer.

I counted only to seventeen that night.

I come back, open the door…

There's Drake on top of Andrew, pulling down his pants with one hand and strangling him with the other!

Well, I was in such a fucking shock, I totally blacked out. I can't… remember a thing.

It wasn't until later, when I was scraping the blood off my exy stick, I even knew he was dead!

 

[Aaron]

He had it coming! He had it coming!  
He had it coming all along!  
You think I done it? Damn right, I did it!  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

He had it coming! He had it coming!  
He had it coming all along!  
You think I done it? Damn right, I did it!  
How could you tell me that I was wrong?

 

[Neil, spoken]

I hated Riko Moriyama more than I could possibly say.

He was a real piece of shit, superiority complex, a coward.

And he was always bragging about his shitty _Ravens_.

He'd go around the Nest, asserting his bullshit egomania, and on his way, he tortured Jean and Kevin and _Nathaniel_.

I guess you could say I left the Nest due to "differing views on exy".

He saw himself King...

And I saw him dead!

 

[Foxes, in unison]

The fucking scum, scum, scum, scum, scum!

The fucking scum, scum, scum, scum, scum!

They had it coming! They had it coming!  
They had it coming all along!  
'Cause if they used us, and they abused us!  
How could they tell us that we were wrong?

They had it coming! They had it coming!  
They only had themselves to blame!  
If you'd have been there, if you'd have seen it!  
I betcha you would have done the same!

 

[Foxes, overlapping]

You touch his face one more time-

Broke my fucking hand-

Ten times-

Was mache ich hier?!

He was on top of him!

 _Different views on_ _exy_ _-_

 

[Foxes, in unison]

I betcha you would have done the same!

Pop!

Six!

Bish!

Uh-uh!

Libero!

Ravens!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! This little juicy songlet is a rework of the song Cell Block Tango, ripped straight from the 1975 musical Chicago, also known by its 2002 movie adaptation.
> 
> It was a coordinated effort between the INCREDIBLE andwewminward, the OUTSTANDING shortbreadd, and yours truly as a manic impulse write that took a few hours, and goddamn it was so much fun to write.
> 
> \- Until next time, Lynx
> 
> *Translation of Nicky’s segment:
> 
> What am I doing here?  
> They say I broke my husband’s head with an exy stick.  
> But it’s not true!  
> I don’t know why Uncle Sam says I did it!  
> I tried to explain it to the police, but they didn’t understand me!


End file.
